Never Ever
by AshtakRa
Summary: A night out leads to a better understanding between several crew mates and a realization that some risks are worth taking. RO/Spider slash
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Never Ever

**Author:** Ashtakra  
**Pairing:** RO/Spider  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, although as an Australian taxpayer the Hammersley kind of is  
**Warnings: **Slash  
**Summary:** Its slash folks, and its Robert and Spider – do you require a summary? Okay, its more character study and angst rather than action, but that's what makes it fun. A night out leads to a better understanding between several crew mates and a realization that some risks are worth taking.

Author's Note: A little slash always lightens the day

Chapter One

"I've never ever-."

"Wait – shouldn't we set some ground rules," said Robert, his gaze ripping across the small group daring them to argue with him. Sure, he may have agreed to this in order to better 'bond' with his shipmates, but that didn't mean he should open himself up to possible ridicule. Small steps he reminded himself.

Bomber froze with her shot glass in hand, it had already been on a trajectory to her mouth so chances were she had done whatever she was about to suggest.

"Hardly the point Rob, if you veto anything we'll know you've definitely done it." Her eyebrows went up for emphasis, perhaps trying to warn him to settle down. It was Bomber who had convinced him to come on this little adventure and since he had an aversion to undercooked meat he knew he had to keep the chef happy.

"Yeah but we have to work together, surely we should keep some level of professionalism," Robert winced inside at his own words, realizing how lame they sounded even to him.

"What's wrong Rob," said Spider, bumping his shoulder with his own. "Worried you'll stay sober, since the most you've probably ever done is sleep with your hands _underneath_ the covers."

The younger sailor laughed at his own joke and both Bomber and ET joined him. Robert sneered but to take the heat out of his anger he lifted the shot glass. "Its _Robert_ but fine, I've never ever…" he paused and looked Spider in the eye, "Had sex in the instructor's office at the academy." Robert downed the vodka but smirked as he saw Spider's expression go from mocking to confusion to disbelief.

"No way!" three voices yelled simultaneously but Robert shrugged and refused to say anything more. It was enough they knew that much, the rest was not something he was about to divulge, especially since that was the first drink apart from the beers before them.

Bomber seemed to recover first and laughed loudly, hitting Spider on the shoulder to bring him out of whatever daze he was in at Robert's admission. "Aww Spider, what's wrong – worried you can't top that," she didn't wait for answer before continuing, "I've never ever had the hots for a shipmate."

Bomber downed her drink immediately as did ET, Spider hesitated and avoided looking at anyone before throwing the vodka back. The three then turned to Robert expectantly. He sighed dramatically before grabbing the bottle to pour another shot – which he drank to the cheers of his newfound friends. He had the sneaking suspicion he might be drinking more than any of them if the subject didn't change soon.

SPSPSPSPSPSP

"So," slurred Bomber in Robert's ear. "Who've you 'ad the hots for then?"

"What?"

"On tha' crew, you drank," she poked a finger in his chest. "That means you _like_ someone on the ship."

Shit! thought Robert, trust Bomber to remember that. "You're crazy," he muttered, thankful Spider and ET were on the dance floor; he checked to make sure and there they were, dancing with a pair of girls probably too young to be in the club. "Anyway, what makes you think its anyone on the current crew?"

She put an arm around his shoulder conspiratorially, "Don't worry Robby, secrets safe with me." She seemed a little less drunk when she said it and as Robert looked into her eyes she winked and leaned back. For just the barest of moments Robert was sure his heart almost stopped before she looked to the dance floor and back, a grin breaking through – a very knowing grin. This time he was certain his heart did stop – she couldn't know, could she?

They were interrupted as ET and Spider stumbled to the table, instantly finishing off their beers and waving at the girls still dancing.

"Little young for you ET?" leered Bomber and the older man just laughed and shrugged.

"Dancing never hurt Bomber, you should try it sometime."

Standing up Bomber walked around the table, her strides purposeful and if Robert was right, just slightly seductive. "Oh I know how to dance, just need tha right pardner."

Her hand shot out and suddenly Robert felt himself dragged to his feet and in seconds they were on the dance floor. Words of protest tried to leave his mouth but the crowd swallowed them and the music enveloped him, bringing back memories. After only a little hesitation he started moving to the beat and grabbed Bomber's hips, bringing them closer and grooving against her. She jumped a little in surprise, perhaps expecting him to have to be forced but he smiled at her and winked just as she had done to him. In moments they were in sync and lost to everything but the music and the bodies around them.

SPSPSPSPSPSP

"Fuck me," muttered ET and shook his head at the sight. On the floor the R.O. and Bomber gyrated against each other, almost lost in the sea of bodies but he was able to keep track of them. He glanced at Spider and for a moment caught such a look of jealousy on the younger man's face that he should have said something, instead he chuckled. Chances were they would remember little of tonight and if Spider had flashes of the R.O. and Bomber dancing together he'd probably write it off as fantasy. After all, no-one would ever believe that someone like Robert Dixon could possible pull the moves he was currently doing to the music. It was entrancing and if ET admitted it to himself, quite erotic. Not Robert exactly, but the way the guy slid around Bomber made their performance more than just friends having fun.

He should probably do something, stop them, stop looking, divert Spider – but truthfully he'd really stopped caring several beers ago. If Robert and Bec wanted to risk it who was he to say anything, it would be slightly hypocritical in any event. He looked back to Spider but he'd disappeared, ET relaxed back and decided he was fine just minding the table. Drinking with these guys made him realize how much of a difference a few years made.

SPSPSPSPSPSP

The song finished and as they left the floor Bomber laughed in Robert's ear. "You're insane," she yelled as the next song started up. "Where the hell did you learn moves like that?"

He smiled and wriggled his eyebrows, some things she didn't have to know. A shot glass with dark liquid appeared in front of his face, held a little unsteadily by Spider who had one for Bomber as well. She shook her head so the two men stared at each other for a second before Robert grinned and clinked Spider's glass. "Just you and me then tiger."

Spider grimaced in response and Robert wasn't sure he liked the expression; then again he was really drunk if he was calling the guy tiger so judgment on someone else's demeanor was not to be trusted. He put the glass to his lips and for the briefest of moments saw Spider's eyes over the rim and they said this was some kind of challenge. Fine, he could play this game, whatever it was. Robert had to admit, his brain was not functioning very well and every thought had to fight through a quagmire of sensory overload, loud music, young, hot and sexy bodies and the fact that he had to watch what he said and did now more than ever.

The other part of Robert said to hell with everything and just have fun, let go.

The liquid hit the back of his throat and a little slid over his tongue, the strong taste of aniseed hit him like a thunderbolt. Black sambuca. The little bastard had remembered Robert admitting earlier that the liqueur had the nasty habit of sending him over the edge.

Another glass was shoved at him, once more filled with the dark liqueur.

Spider's smile was now predatory and Robert knew he couldn't back down, not now. The two men both downed their shots and shook their heads. They had been drinking for eight solid hours and been to five different clubs. Up until now Robert had been willing to let his guard down and trust that they were just doing what friends did on a night away from work. It was, he guessed, until he had danced with Bomber.

Somehow he had crossed an invisible line that Spider had drawn.

Now it was a competition.

Another drink appeared from nowhere and Robert took it and once more clinked Spider's glass. He tried to match the younger man's half smile but it came out more as a leer, that seemed to unsettle Spider and suddenly Robert found himself entertaining another line of reasoning.

He had believed Spider was jealous of Bomber dancing with him, but there was so much more to it. Or not, the world at the moment was becoming more and more blurred and the drink before him seemed to waver.

"Rob," Bomber's voice seemed far away. "You don't need to do this, we're just out for fun yeah?"

"_Robert_," he slurred, wishing they would all take the hint, "And I'm havin' fun Becky," He leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips, it was fast and chaste but he could see Spider's eyes flare in anger.

The younger man drank his shot and slammed it on the table, daring Spider to finish his own. It was easier said than done. His stomach churned and he knew that once these shots entered his system he was done for – but he had been challenged.

The drink went into his mouth and he took a few moments to hold it on the back of his tongue before gulping it down.

SPSPSPSPSPSPSP

The first sense to come back to Robert was smell, and it told him whiskey had featured prominently last night – Irish whiskey if he wasn't mistaken. The second was that he could smell someone else, not in a terrible body odor kind of way but in a 'that's not me' realization.

Sight was still beyond him so he flung out an arm and it collided with something solid and surprisingly warm. Thankfully said warm solid body like shape was covered in material and not naked skin – that would have been difficult and somewhat awkward to face. His hand was still on the body and if he wasn't too far wrong that would be the chest, quite a well built chest at that. Firm and with some good definition, and did he already notice the heat?

Fuck! Robert's eyes flew open as a few memories filtered through and he was instantly assaulted by the harsh light coming through the thin blinds – his own room at least. Moving his head was like swimming through honey but he managed it and almost copped a mouthful of short dark hair – no face but he didn't need it. The head was unmistakable as one Billy 'Spider' Webb. A head that was connected to a body that was in Robert's bed, _with_ Robert – and _his_ hand was still on Spider's chest. Snatching it back Robert rolled over and off the mattress and took a moment to try and not puke at the sudden change of position.

A few dozen heavy breaths later he felt strong enough to get off his hands and knees and lean with his back against the bed. More importantly he had to think.

Why was Spider here and _how_ did they get here?

Right – shore leave, birthday bash, his, then far too many shots of sambuca with whiskey chasers. It was fuzzy after that but he had to assume since his flat was closer to the clubs than the Hammersley this is as far as the younger man made it.

Good, that was logical and the most likely scenario – because there was absolutely no way Robert would have… no, even smashed off his face he had to believe his control would have remained firm. Still, apart from the embarrassment factor and possible reprimand the thought was somewhat exciting and as he thought it a memory of lips on his neck suddenly came to the fore.

Of course his pondering was interrupted and answered by a voice devastated by a night of partying whispering hoarsely in his ear.

"How the fuck did I get here and where is here?"

Robert sighed and turned slightly to see Spider's bloodshot eyes looking at him in confusion.

"Here is my flat – how? Dunno, but I'm guessing we walked, or staggered." Truth be told he was beginning to remember coming back here but since that memory included other things he would wait to see what Spider actually recalled.

Spider moaned pitifully and if Robert didn't feel just as bad he may have felt sorry for him. Still, they couldn't stay like this. Standing with just a slight hiss and more heavy breathing Robert looked down. Spider was still dressed in his clubbing gear – faded denims, overly loud blue and green t-shirt that was probably two sizes too small and only one shoe. The other was either here or somewhere on the Esplanade, hopefully here cause he was pretty sure his feet were smaller than Spider's. His mind was still not firing so Robert thoughtlessly let his gaze linger on the exposed skin above Spider's low-riding jeans, the V of a body in perfect shape too hard not to resist checking out. Not to mention the silky smooth skin that he just knew would feel warm and sensual beneath his fingers if he were to trace the trail of thin hair from navel to under the dark band of Diesel underwear poking out.

Almost too late Robert knew he was staring and looked up guiltily at Spider's face but luckily the prone man had an arm over his eyes, the light too bright for him too.

Spider groaned again. "Tell me this is Thursday not Friday and we haven't partied both days away?"

Squinting at a watch that was normally easy to read Robert sighed happily. "Thursday, we have a day to recover."

One evil eye peered up at him behind a second and third finger. "Or maybe another chance to try and complete the shooter list at all three clubs."

"Sorry tiger," snorted Robert. "On your own there buddy."

Tiger? When and why had he started calling Spider tiger? Perhaps he hadn't noticed and they could let it slide.

"Tiger?" Unfortunately not. "I have a vague memory of you callin' me that last night – can't think why." Spider shook his head and sat up, his face almost going literally green for a moment and Robert chuckled.

"Water, and food – in that order."

"Agreed," said Robert and searched for shoes, hoping Spider's missing one was next to the bed. No such luck but at least his own were. His search around the room was interrupted by a knock before the door swung open, to reveal a grinning Bomber holding up a shoe.

"Most people," she said with a toothy grin, "Put a hat on the door."

Tbc…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

He had to put up with her grinning all through breakfast, which was hard enough given every mouthful wanted to come right back up again. The only consolation was that Robert looked just as bad and simply stared into his coffee and nibbled on some dry toast.

Last night had been way too long but apart from the massive hangover he had no regrets. He and Robert probably should have called it a night when ET and Bomber left but they had stayed out and it was difficult to remember exactly where they had gone and when they finally returned here. Bomber said she had left them at three hundred hours so he would just have to go with that. He did remember the sun rising as they made their way to Robert's flat so that gave a closer time frame. It was strange how the more he thought about it the memories just popped into his head. Lights coming on at the club, the fluorescent or 'ugly' lights as they were called, forcing them to leave; then Robert dragging him here, insisting there was no way Spider would make it back to the Hammersley. It was a little hazy but he kept working on remembering, probably nothing to be worried about – _probably_ being the worrying word.

Who knew that the normally straight-laced radio officer could put away so many shots – and know almost every seedy place in town?

Spider shouldn't be surprised by anyone he shared a boat with anymore but sometimes things like that just crept under the radar.

He snorted as his own joke, under the radar? His every day was spent flying under certain types of radar – like making sure his gaze never lingered too long on Robert's lips, or his eyes, or his… well being careful took on a whole new meaning on a patrol boat. While the regs no longer discriminated on sexuality – they did still say a big fat no to on-board romance, and even if they didn't? Get real Spider told himself – it was a modern navy but still so much a traditional man's navy. Just because gay was allowed did not mean it was accepted.

With all this playing on his mind every day Robert bloody Dixon had ever so slowly wormed his way into Spider's mind, and if he was honest, a few fantasies. Once he realized this Spider had made sure to spend more time with Bomber, cultivate the image as it were in case anyone suspected his infatuation.

Fine, that worked great.

Then Bomber started including Robert in everything they did.

Not so good.

Infatuation turned to grudging likeability. Spider was not stupid – he had been in lust with Robert but thankfully the R.O. was distant and not that approachable. He didn't even like him, just his body.

But as more time was spent in the other's company he saw other sides of Robert.

Like the fact that he may appear strict on phone and email use – but actually allowed a select few to have more time than was allowed, and privacy to match. Also he often asked after the XO's cousin, who was going through chemo and somehow remembered the birthdays of several of the crew's spouses and children. Most surprising was discovering that Robert always seemed to have chocolate when they visited populated islands and would feign anger at 'having' to share it with the kids – Spider had never seen Robert actually eat the chocolate himself. Of course Robert would deny it and become all huffy when Spider tried to talk about it or ask questions.

The R.O. was also very good at calming Bomber down, especially when she didn't even know she was heating up. A few quick words, a hand on the back or even a coffee – with that Bomber seemed to defuse and would give Robert some knowing smile that Spider still had to work out what it meant exactly.

Coffee? In all his time on board Spider had never had Robert bring him a coffee, or anyone else for that matter. Did the R.O. like Becky? That he had not worked out either. She did seem to have something going for the radio officer though – why else would she make the effort to include him.

Spider scolded himself for the thought, he seemed to annoy Bomber more than most yet she continued to include him so how could he think her interest in Robert was anything but friendly? As his mind mulled over that another part of his brain must have been working on those memories because all of a sudden when he sipped on some OJ another taste came back. It had been sweet like the juice but mixed with a salty tang that was enjoyable and just as the memory of taste had hit him so did the visual.

His tongue on Robert's neck!

Trying hard not to choke on the juice while keeping his expression neutral Spider risked glancing at the R.O. just to see if he was perhaps remembering the same thing. Robert though, was still nibbling on that damned toast and seemed entirely disinterested in whatever Bomber was prattling on about. It was something about some guy she met last night but Spider had to admit he wasn't really listening either.

Maybe Robert had no memory of this morning; no idea that as they staggered up the stairs and Spider leaned in to steady himself he had taken the opportunity to smell Robert's neck, liking it he had taken it a step further by nuzzling into said neck. It was hard to recall if Robert had simply ignored him or not even noticed – since the moment they made it inside he had pushed Spider towards the bedroom and disappeared, leaving Spider to stumble to the mattress and collapse.

After that his memory was blank until he had woken later to find Robert in bed beside him, his arm held awkwardly behind his head to give Spider more room. Both were still clothed so Spider guessed he hadn't tried anything else, since one of his number one seduction techniques was simply to strip off his clothes. In those early hours, before he fell back asleep, his head still spinning with alcohol he had allowed himself to admire the other man close up and at rest.

While asleep Robert's expression had softened, his perpetual frown was gone and all the tension he carried evaporated. He had looked so peaceful and dare Spider think it, comfortable, even with his arm bent up at such an odd angle. His chest had rose with regular breaths, easy to see under the thin grey singlet, gone was the button up god-awful ugly shirt he had been wearing. It had been all Spider could do _not_ to reach out and touch his cheek, his neck, his chest and down – no!

These thoughts were dangerous, these memories alone were trouble and he wish they'd stop popping into his head. But they had and now Spider didn't know whether to pretend nothing had happened and never mention it or should he talk to Robert once Bomber had left, if she was leaving. It was hard to tell.

She was talking, and talking, and then just for good measure she had more things to say – but Spider was pretty sure she really wasn't saying much. It was as if she was biding her time, waiting for something. As he allowed his gaze to wander from a stone-wall Robert to an animated Bomber he noticed that she was flicking glances at Robert continuously, questioning glances that Robert was studiously ignoring.

What the fuck was going on?

Okay, Spider was the first to admit that he just did not understand women. The bigger problem was the better women got to know him the more confused he became. Bomber was no exception; at first they had the whole friendly banter, well maybe not always so friendly, that had not stopped. Then the closeness you get with anyone you share a life on-board with, and the life-and-death situations certainly added to the relationship. Yet after all that Bomber was just as big a mystery as anyone else.

He just didn't get her, yet couldn't help liking her. Better yet she never did the whole 'I think I might like you but we can't so I have to back off' thing. Wait, why hadn't she done that? Why wouldn't she like him and why was this thought only coming up now?

Spider really hated his hangovers; they always made him think too much.

"Hey Bozo!" a hand slapped the side of his head, oh right, she'd been trying to get his attention.

"What!" he answered in the same tone.

She did that whole shake her head at his stupidity thing before asking again, "I wanted to know when you guys got in?"

"Uh…"

Okay, here was the perfect opportunity to feign absolute ignorance. Claim complete black-out and even if Robert did remember and wanted to plot his murder then Spider could just deny, deny, deny. He'd had a lot of practice.

"About sunrise, the stairs were a killer but there was enough light to see 'em at least." Okay, his mouth obviously was not on the same thought process as his brain at the moment. With that answer he was admitting to Robert that he had a fully functioning active memory of them coming home; of Robert almost carrying him, of him licking Robert's delicious neck!

For his part, Robert just had that half smile, the one that said absolutely nothing – for all Spider knew Robert was laughing at some joke from the paper or figuring a way to suffocate Spider in his sleep, and make it look like an accident; he had no doubt the R.O. could probably do it, his mother always said watch the quiet ones.

Bomber checked her watch. "So as long as you guys went straight to bed…" she hesitated as if waiting for one of them to say something before continuing, "You've had 'bout six hours sleep, time enough for us to go swimming then."

Robert groaned but said nothing, obviously he knew the uselessness of arguing – add another IQ point thought Spider. Watching Bomber go on about possible locations another thought suddenly hit Spider and he interrupted her half-way through some description of the benefits of sneaking into a resort pool.

"Bomber, you just barged in this morning – and I'm pretty sure the door was locked?"

She didn't answer immediately but looked to Robert, he just waved his hand but whatever silent language they used was successful as she answered.

"Robert gave me a key, said if I ever needed to crash, or just pop over – since you weren't on board I figured you ended up here."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she said sarcastically, almost slapping him again, "It was a logical deduction, us girls can make them sometimes."

"No I meant that Robert gave you a, I mean…" he shut up as he realized questioning that giving someone a key was very un-Robert like would be rude – since they were sitting in his flat. To prevent the look Robert was now sending his way turning into something he'd rather not see Spider changed tack.

"So Rob, why the flat anyway, can't you just stay on the Hammersley?"

"Its Robert, and some of us have lives William."

Spider laughed but stopped when he saw that Robert was not even smiling.

"And also," continued Robert, holding up a finger for emphasis, "Its much easier to bring randy drunk sailors back to my bed here, than on the ship."

There was dead silence for five beats of Spider's heart before Robert and Bomber burst out laughing, Bomber making smart comments about the look on his face.

Trying to laugh instead of puke at the close call Spider relaxed as he saw it really was just all a joke, if he went by their expressions. Perhaps Robert really didn't remember or, and this was the paranoid part of Spider coming out, he was waiting to catch Spider alone before accusing him. After all, the man had given Bomber a key… a key! They must have something going on, and she did seem comfortable here, just walking in with barely a knock.

As he watched Bomber whisper something in Robert's ear and Robert purse his lips in mock aggravation Spider decided they must be a couple. Then there was the dancing last night, and all the times he had spotted them alone on the Hammersley.

Great, thought Spider, I've set myself up for failure again. Given all that he couldn't help but _not_ regret last night – for just a minute he had Robert in his arms, or at least under his lips. That and being close to him for, according to Bomber, six hours; well if that's all he could get then it would have to be enough.

Some things, he sighed, were never meant to be.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The knives clinked too loudly as he returned them to the drawer, or perhaps his head was still a little sore and the clinking was just normal. Robert chuckled to himself at having six of each knives, forks and spoons when today was the most people he'd ever had at his flat.

Bomber had taken a strangely petulant Spider to get some clean clothes for their swimming adventure, although he would have offered to lend some Robert had a strange feeling Spider would have refused. It was weird; Spider had gone from being quite perky and playful to moody and non-communicative – all in the space of an early lunch. Alright, he had to admit his own conversation was mostly limited to grunts but for him that was normal – Spider usually had to be silenced with threats of physical violence.

Was it something he said, something he didn't say? For sure, he had said nothing of what had happened earlier, but figured Spider wouldn't want that brought up in front of Bomber; not to mention until he had mentioned coming up the stairs Robert wasn't even sure Spider had remembered this morning.

What a surprise that had been. Robert's own memory was probably worse than Spider's, he couldn't remember unlocking the door or coming up the stairs – but the lips on his neck, that was imprinted! At the time he had thought Spider was confused and thought he was some girl he'd picked up, or that he was joking around; but he had looked in the guy's eyes and there had been no mix-up. It had been pure lust, and it was directed at him.

Of course, much as the attention was not unwanted, there was no way Robert was going to get into a drunken fling with someone who would no doubt regret it in the morning. So he had pushed Spider towards the bed and headed to the bathroom, his bladder was screaming anyway. With that taken care of and a splash of cool water to the face, an internal verbal dress down on the fact he had considered taking it further and a resolve to let nothing happen he had returned to the bedroom.

Spider was out cold, and obviously as soon as he had hit the mattress. Face down, legs splayed out and an arm twisted up underneath his chest – if it wasn't pathetic it would have been hilariously cute. Somehow Robert remembered rolling Spider onto his side, in some semblance of the lateral position they had all learned in first aid – of course his own exhaustion had been hitting him so he had joined Spider on the bed. As soon as he had Spider rolled over onto his back, hogging what little space there had been between them. With the choice of either letting him remain close or rolling over on his side Robert's body made the decision for him as he basically couldn't move.

There his memory ended, until waking up near lunchtime. It had taken a few minutes and Bomber's arrival for the full events of the night to come back – by that time and with Bomber there it was impossible to ask if Spider remembered.

He had, that much was clear. But the way he had been giving Robert the cold shoulder spoke volumes about how much the younger man must have regretted his actions. It was actually a relief to get him out of here, well that wasn't entirely true. Having Spider in his bed had been nice, comfortable even – and in his kitchen, that was good as well.

Robert snorted at his own musings and looked to the side table, a photo of his Dad prominent on the shelf. "Yeah I know," he spoke to the picture, "A man has responsibilities in this world, not dreams." He could almost imagine his father nodding at his own words being quoted to him.

With the dishes done he moved the chairs back in position and moved to the bedroom. The bed itself hardly needed any work, they had slept on top of the sheets and its not as if either of them had been especially restless while they were out cold.

Sitting down on the newly made bed Robert shook his head, trying to rid himself of the cobwebs in his head and formulate some kind of plan for dealing with Spider – and Bomber when she found out.

Because she would find out; either from him or Spider; and when she did it would probably be a barrage of making him do something about it or trying to make something happen herself. He knew how she worked, it wasn't that hard. Bomber didn't plan things out like him, she simply acted on instinct. That's not to say she wasn't determined or couldn't follow a set course of action; its just sometimes she needed to be guided, or distracted, depending on the situation.

Bomber was controllable; Spider was a whole other question.

Running a hand over where Spider had slept Robert frowned at thinking on him. The guy was impossible, frustrating, annoying, naïve; funny, compassionate, loveable, sexy as hell and Robert had it so bad it made him angry at himself.

This is part of the reason he stayed separate, alone. Self-preservation was something he had learned from an early age, especially with a father who used emotion and attachment as weapons. His father was gone from his life but his influence remained and even though the logical part of Robert knew this, recognized it for what is was, the other part of him couldn't get past it.

He needed a plan, and a back-up plan and a redundancy plan after that – but how do you plan to deal with someone who was entirely unpredictable?

Robert had plans, or strategies for other possibilities. Say the crew found out about his sexuality, he was prepared for that. Well, actually it didn't change anything; the regs said it was okay and he lived and died by regulations, most of the time. So they could say what they like, call him what they like – it wasn't as if he was already high on anyone's friend list, apart from a select few that seemed to have embraced him regardless of his own reluctance. As far as he was concerned the Navy said it was okay, so it was up to the crew to live with that, not him. Besides he had an ace of his sleeve as well – since saying none of the crew knew was not entirely correct; and the one who did know would hopefully provide some measure of protection… they had thus far.

He would not transfer and he would not avoid it – if and when that situation arose. He had been happy with this reasoning, and comfortable with it.

Then Spider had started entering his circle more and more often. Robert had treated him like anyone else, with disdain and sarcasm. The guy gave as good as he got, earning Robert's begrudging respect. He also had some idiotic charm about him; Robert did not want to use the word _irresistible_ – because that would make him – Robert – weak. More and more though he had enjoyed Spider's company and last night… last night had been so close.

Too close.

This needed to end, especially if Spider had just been fooling around.

Robert's brow knitted in frustration. This was why he hated not being able to figure Spider out.

Because what if he hadn't being fooling around?

BBBBBBBBBBBB

Trinity Beach was fantastic this time of year nodded Bomber appreciatively. The tourist season had died down but the stinger net was still up. They could swim but not get crowded and finding a park near the sheltered tables had been easy. Of course it was mid-afternoon by the time they arrived, thanks to a Spider who was initially dragging his feet and Robert who had tried unsuccessfully to pull out at the last minute.

Boys!

On a crew full of them why did she latch onto these two, who seemed determined to spend equal amounts of time liking and hating each other; but she knew why. In their own way they made her life so much better and helped put those doubts about serving right back where they belong.

While Spider and her had become friends in the traditional schoolyard sense, bugging each other until they didn't know how to cope without each other's company – Robert had been like a rock. He was always there for her but never expected anything in return. Had she been a different kind of person she may have taken advantage of him, used him and taken it for granted that he would help her when needed.

Becky 'Bomber' Brown was not that kind of girl. Every chance she got to return all of Robert's support and friendship she took. Whether it be risking her own reputation to be the only one who believed a crazy story about drink spiking, or being there to let him vent about a father who had she ever met would have received a right hook from her quick smart.

"So Becky, comin' in or what – this was your idea?" shouted Spider, as he threw his shirt on the pile of bags and towels. Robert was already in the water, in his usual independent way he had simply walked in seemingly not caring if they followed. Spider's grin as he kicked some sand on her legs was infectious; whatever gloom had surrounded him for the last few hours evaporated half way up during the drive.

"Okay, okay," she laughed and stripped off to her one-piece. Points to Spider for not even making a comment but instead just giving a childish whoop! and running to jump in and splash an unsuspecting Robert. As she sedately moved into the shallows Robert had retaliated and a full-blown splash war had erupted; as she thought, boys!

Whatever tension had existed between Robert and Spider disappeared as they continually attacked and retreated, pulling Bomber into their private war – she masterfully played both sides and even if she did say so herself – was the obvious winner. Anyone watching them probably would have thought they were immature University students rather than crew of a highly advanced naval warship.

No-one checked their watches but at least an hour must have passed as the sun was lower in the sky as the war was ended and instead they hovered in the shallows chatting about absolutely nothing. As usual it was Spider who did most of the talking with comments from her and the occasional grunt from Robert, who's smile was the only thing that let her know he was enjoying himself.

During a lull in conversation Robert said he wanted to go out further but with an unspoken agreement Bomber and Spider stayed where their feet could touch sand; Robert just nodded and instead waited until Spider's head was turned, grabbed him from behind and dragged him out – ignoring his protests. Only when she saw the fear in Spider's eyes did Bomber intervene, shouting at Robert to stop and bring him back. Her tone got through and realization must have hit him as he swam back and didn't let go of Spider until he could stand again. Robert apologized profusely and even seemed on the verge of a meltdown – as if he should've known.

This alone put Bomber on alert. Its not that he was uncaring but such a thing would not normally have Robert worried at something he did; his attitude was normally to face your fear. The guy was walking on eggshells and she had no idea why. At least she had no idea until Spider took the time to assure Robert that there was no ill-feeling and he should just 'forget' it.

"After-all," Spider had continued, standing tall to avoid a larger than normal wave, "We all do stupid things sometimes forgetting how it may affect others; you couldn't know how I felt about it and I know you were just having fun – so we can just forget it ever happened." He stared hard at Robert, crossing his arms defensively, "Had it been me doing something stupid I bet you'd have no problems…right?"

At that comment Bomber noticed that Robert's eyes narrowed, and had she been able to see his mouth, that was currently hiding under the water, she knew it would be pursed into a thin line. There was some kind of hidden communication going on between these two and like most men they were not making the situation better. Robert nodded tersely then turned and swam out, effectively forcing them to leave him alone.

Wading towards the shore until they were able to just sit and let the small waves lap over their legs Bomber waited to see if Spider would explain what was going on.

He didn't so she had to ask; its who she was and couldn't stop know.

"Okay Billy, what the hell is that all about?"

"Well I think you know," he answered quickly, probably more annoyed at the name than the question. "I don't think you want to be in deep water anymore than I do."

"No, you know that's not it."

"Why!" his face screwed up in anger. "Why can't that be it? Why do you have to push it all the time?"

"Because I care," she said with no hint of sarcasm. That deflated his anger in an instant and he let his head dip down, unconsciously doing exactly what Robert had done by letting only his nose stay above the water. It was not lost on Bomber that he had not let his gaze leave Robert for an instant. For Robert's part he was now about twenty meters out but was staring back at them, his attention left no doubt that he somehow knew they may be discussing him.

Spider abruptly stood and shook his whole body.

"I'm so sick of this shit," he muttered darkly and walked back to their stuff, forcing Bomber to follow. A backwards glance revealed Robert had not moved far but had instead started paddling back and forth, catching some of the smaller waves while keeping his eyes in their direction.

Spider threw her a towel while wiping himself down. His hair had grown out a little lately and it stuck up at all odd angles thanks to the salt-water. Sand was stuck to his legs and the wet shorts clung tightly to his body. Bomber wouldn't have been human if she hadn't taken a moment to admire his physique even while he was obviously quite upset. Like most times he was completely oblivious to her ogling; sometimes she really wondered what world he lived in.

"So," she started, since he was refusing to begin anything. "What has RO done now to put you in a mood – did he do something last night?"

"No he didn't," Spider snapped then cocked his head at her. "Why would you ask that?"

"I um…" Bomber stalled for time. She had no idea how well Spider knew Robert. Even Robert didn't know that she'd had him figured from the beginning. It was just a natural assumption that if they'd been really drunk there was the possibility Robert had done something his usual iron self-control would never allow.

"You know Rob," she tried to improvise. "He says things sometimes, but he'd never be mean or hurtful – on purpose."

Spider continued to give her a funny look, like he was trying to figure out some difficult equation. "I know that," he finally answered. "I just hate it that you guys can't be honest with me."

You guys? What the hell had she done?

Her expression must have been evident because he continued without waiting for her to speak. "I mean, I thought we were friends and that means you can trust me – but you two drag me around and treat me like an imbecile."

Bomber shook her head in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You," he said, pointing his finger at her, then out at Robert, "And him!"

"What?" she asked not getting it, then suddenly it dawned what he was implying. "Me and Robert?" Not knowing whether to slap him or laugh she went the latter, figuring it was safer.

Spider glared at her, obviously not finding the scenario at all amusing. "Yeah," he spat. "You and him, and you think I'm so stupid I wouldn't notice but that's not what pisses me off – its that you don't trust me enough to tell me. You know I wouldn't report you, god Beck! You're unbelieveable!" he snatched up his gear and stalked off, leaving Bomber bemused and not a little shocked.

Only when a shadow crossed her face did she look up to find a dripping and out of breath Robert giving her a questioning look. He didn't look happy and wouldn't be any happier when she told him what Spider thought they were up to, but it had to be done.

"He um, he thinks we're a couple."

"Oh," his answer was almost a sigh, and he sounded relieved.

"Oh, just oh?"

Robert grabbed a towel and started drying off, he must of run up the beach and was still drenched. Where Spider was all name brand clothes and always wearing things just the right way Robert had a generic pair of shorts on, sagging on one side and even his towel was just a faded green colour. Body-wise he had the same slim musculature as Spider but with a few extra years added; probably because of this his fashion sense suited him more than any expensive brand could.

When he lowered the towel she was surprised to see he had a smile, and a glint in his eye if she wasn't mistaken. A raised eyebrow from her was all the prompting he needed.

"Its just ironic," he chuckled. "Cause I was thinking the same thing."

"What! What kind of vibe am I giving out – does everyone think I've got it on with every guy I speak to?"

"No, its nothing like that – its just…"

"Yes?" There was no way he was avoiding this one.

"All right," he capitulated and sunk down on the sand next to her. "Its just the way he reacted last night – after we danced, he seemed really jealous."

"Yeah," Bomber remembered, "I tried to ignore that, him being drunk and all."

"Well that's not all," continued Robert. "It was like he had to prove something to me, drink more, dance harder – I don't know but I kind of got caught up in it."

Bomber nodded, completely understanding that Spider could have that effect on people.

"So when we got home he kind of did something that's had me confused ever since – at least…shit its kind of stupid." He hung his head, obviously having trouble explaining it. "Just before, out there, I thought by what he said that last night had been a mistake – and I thought that's what I wanted to hear but instead it really hurt." He nudged her shoulder with his own, "and you know I'm not good with that kind of stuff."

"Really? I never noticed," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," he chuckled. This was the side of Robert she adored, self-effacing and open. If only some of the others could see it they'd stop making derogatory remarks about him, but she also understood why he kept everything so private. Growing up with a father like his couldn't have been easy.

"So while I was out there dwelling in my self-pity I saw you two arguing, and it put a different spin on things – I thought you might be having a lovers quarrel, with me as the problem."

Bomber wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it but just shook her head instead. "Robert, even if I was with Spider – why would anything that happened last night be a problem for me?"

"Because," said Spider, who had returned without them knowing, "When we got to his flat I tried to make a move on Rob."

Turning to Robert for confirmation she caught him just about to argue the use of his name, instead he just waved a hand, "Yep, that's pretty much it."

"So you," she pointed at Spider, "Want him." He nodded as she pointed at Robert.

"And you, going by the whole self-pity thing – want him," she pointed back at Spider while talking at Robert.

"Yep," he answered sheepishly, studiously avoiding looking Spider's way who had dropped to his knees at Robert's answer.

Bomber looked at first one, then the other, then back again. She finally shook her head, laughed and looked up at the sky.

"Boys."

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Watching Bomber laugh hysterically was not improving Spider's mood but at least it allowed him to avoid looking at Robert.

Holy fuckin' crap! Robert was interested in him. At that knowledge his stomach had done some kind of flip-flop and some serious re-evaluating had to be done. Bomber and Robert were not together, his move last night had not been an absolute mistake and, oh yeah, Robert was interested in him.

If he had not been shocked into silence he would have whooped like some kid and done a little dance on the spot. A scowl was still upon his face but that's because he felt it should be, as if he had somehow been tricked; also the reason not to look at Robert 'cause if he did Spider knew he would start grinning like an idiot.

"Seriously Becka, laughing at this is hardly helping," Robert was saying, trying to calm down Bomber who literally had tears running down her face. "Becka?"

"I can't help it," choked Bomber. "Its just… you two! Its too much and I know I shouldn't but," she broke into another laughing fit which finally made Spider smile a little before barking off a laugh himself.

Robert's glare immediately swung to him and it made him laugh even more. Sure, he and Robert really needed to talk and this had to be worked out – but at this one moment he was agreeing with Bomber – it was just plain hilarious.

"Oh, fuck the both of you!" snarled Robert and stalked off sown the beach, his angry rant renewed their laughter and Bomber leaned into him a little before wiping her face and going silent.

As one they stopped and stared at the retreating figure.

"You're gonna have to go after him," Bomber said softly.

"Me?" said Spider, a little stunned. "But you know him better, and you guys are friends – and I don't know what to say."

A finger poked his naked ribs. "You started this, you _are_ his friend and you're the one who wants to know him better."

She was too right for him to protest. "But what will I say, just admitting I liked him was hard, I mean _what_ are we meant to do now?"

She mumbled under her breath and Spider pretended not to hear the words _I might have a few suggestions_. She did not speak up though and gave him her patented 'do something' piercing look that weirdly reminded him of having an older sister.

"Fine," he muttered back, pulling on a shirt and grabbing Robert's towel and shirt as well. "But if I'm not back in half-an-hour you'd better come look for the body."

"Oh come on," giggled Bomber. "Robert's just pissed off at me right now, trust me, smile that oh so cute face of yours at him and he'll forgive you anything."

"I'm not so sure," he leant in, as if there were other people around that could here him. "I mean I do like him but he scares me sometimes you know."

Her smile turned a little sad, "Not as much as he scares himself – just talk to him Spider, as a mate, as more – whatever, just don't let him walk away."

HMASHHMASHHMASH

He found him on the side of the pier, about half way down sitting on the edge. Even now, when he was 'sulking' Spider figured Robert had taken the time to strategize his position – since there was no way he could sneak up on him without being seen. On the other hand Robert's only choice to avoid him was to dive into the ocean, without the safety of a stinger net.

Spider wasn't so sure Robert wouldn't try.

Sitting down next to him Spider put the towel and shirt behind them, giving Robert the choice of whether to use them. The sun was almost setting and a cool breeze had sprung up. As he idly watched the other man's shoulder Spider could see a spread of goosebumps. In fact, watching the skin change texture took his attention from having to say anything and instead he zoned out on Robert's smooth complexion.

Well not entirely smooth, he hadn't noticed in the water but there were very feint white scars across Robert's shoulder blade and almost to his neckline. They were old, probably from childhood and did not evoke sympathy so much as an interest. What caused them? Was it one of those silly accidents kids have, some friend daring him to climb a tree too high? Maybe it was tragic though, and if he asked Robert would clam up – well clam up more so than now. There were some light brown, almost blonde hairs, only a few millimeters long on each side of his spine and Spider found himself fascinated by these as the setting sun caught them and turned them to gold. Up they went to his neckline, the fine muscles firm under the surface, as they should be since the guy was almost in a permanent state of being tense. Then there was that neck, the very one he could still taste if he thought about it, the texture and slope fixed in his mind as his gaze kept going up – only to be caught by two very dark brown eyes, squinting at the sun coming from behind them.

Transfixed in the other's stare Spider tried to think of something to say, something funny or irrelevant to break the silence. He could say how it was all Bomber's fault about the laughter, how he hadn't meant to be silly. Something to let Robert know he'd meant what he said – he _did_ like him.

A finger caressed his cheek and Spider almost jumped, so intent on Robert's eyes he had not been watching the rest of him, which had moved closer and his lips were now only centimeters from his own. Relaxing slightly Spider closed the remaining distance and lightly touched his lips to Robert's. The first touch was hesitant, probing like they were both testing if the other one meant it, that lasted only moments though as Robert's other hand cupped the back of his head and drew him in hard, teeth clinked against each other which elicited a brief chuckle. He let Robert see his eyes, see his need and his want and more importantly his acceptance. In the next instance tongues met and fought for dominance before Spider let Robert take control, and he was glad he did. The older man moved around and kissed up his neck, like he had done yesterday but with more control and precision, hitting all of Spider's pressure points and getting a hiss of pleasure from him.

Mouths met again and Robert nibbled on his bottom lip while stroking the back of his head; this sent a shiver down his spine and goose-bumps broke out along his arms. He could feel Robert smiling against him, entirely aware of the effect he was having. Spider was not a novice, well not entirely – he had kissed before, men even; but this was different, better and wanted and oh! He shifted as he suddenly realized he was pressing his erection into Robert's side but Robert just gave him that wide half grin and pulled him back into contact, allowing him to grind ever so slowly against his thigh.

They finally pulled back a little, neither sated but not willing to go any further right now; as if both realizing how exposed they were right now. Robert chuckled softly and pulled his shirt on neatly and stood up, he politely held the towel out to Spider.

"You might want this – until… you know," he flicked his glance down at Spider's tented shorts and Spider gave embarrassed thanks before standing and wrapping the towel around his waist. Robert was probably having the same problem but the cut of his shorts allowed for less obviousness.

They walked back to the beach without saying a word but just let their shoulders rub against each other and fingers briefly touch. Bomber was sitting in the car, legs hanging out the open door. At their approach she jumped out and immediately hugged Robert, unthinkingly pushing Spider out of the way. She whispered what had to be an apology in his ear and as Spider watched Robert only hesitated briefly before hugging her back.

Bomber spun back to Spider and gave his face a close inspection and nodded in triumph. "See, I told you it was the right thing to do."

"Actually," smiled Spider. "Talk wasn't needed… as it turns out."

Once they were in the car, Bomber in the driving seat of course, she turned to Robert in the passenger side, Spider had been put in the back again. "So without telling me details no girl should ever hear, what happens now?"

Robert turned back and gave a raised eye-brow smile at Spider. "I'm not sure – we shouldn't be _doing_ anything."

"Hey!" protested Spider. Robert may have been right, regulations and all that but as he was about to argue the case Spider noticed that Robert's grin had turned mischievous.

"Of course," stated Robert. "As a particularly friendly and helpful member of the SAS told me – some rules aren't as important as others."

"Wait," asked Bomber, her hand frozen in the act of starting the car. "You told me Thorne was helping you with defensive moves."

"And you fell for that?" answered Robert then looked thoughtful. "Well there was some hand to hand fighting."

"No!" shouted Bomber. "There are limits Robert." She put her hands over her ears but laughed anyway.

Spider was more than a little shocked. "SAS," he whispered almost to himself. "But those guys could break you in half – how could you risk making a move?"

Robert gave him another raised eyebrow. "Who said I approached him?"

The name Bomber had mentioned finally registered and Spider remembered the guy, Sergeant Matt Thorne, Roses had been his nick-name – of course it had more than one meaning now. He shook his head as he tried to imagine it but still had trouble – the SAS were the toughest guys in the whole Australian military, probably the world; and Robert had bagged one.

"Do I even know what I've got myself in for?" he must have asked aloud because Robert and Bomber both laughed as the car started.

"Probably not," said Bomber, once they had exited the car-park and her tone turned serious. "But guys, for real – what does happen now? You're gonna have to be careful and much as I adore you both I can't go covering for you or my arse is grass as well."

"I'd never ask you to do that," said Robert quickly. "Look, I don't even know where we stand; Spider?"

Spider shrugged but they couldn't see him so he gave a non-committal grunt.

They were interrupted further discussion by Robert's and Bomber's phones beeping, quickly followed by Spider's. That could mean only one thing; shore-leave was cancelled and duty called.

Whatever they had to work out would have to wait as they drove directly to the dock where the Hammersley waited for them, and a crew they had to keep this secret from.

Spider cursed softly, keeping secrets was not one of his strong points; he then cursed again – he'd had plans for tonight that included Robert and him back on that bed – not drunk and not asleep.

This was not going to be an easy cruise.

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Had it not been for the expression on Buffer's face Robert would have asked him to repeat his direction – he wanted him, Robert Dixon, on the Alpha Team for boarding. That was just insane!

Okay, he was trained, and he could probably do it but there were about a dozen other crew better qualified, in fact the entire crew were better qualified.

"Are you sure?" he managed to whisper out, not wanting to be seen questioning the Buffer in front of others, "You know I'll most likely get knocked out, kidnapped and held to some kind of ransom."

Buffer grinned that infuriating half-excited half-crazy smile and planted a friendly but firm hand on Robert's shoulder. "Then don't get knocked out – because I'm fairly sure the Navy will not pay _your_ ransom, and I wouldn't count on the crew either."

"Thanks," answered Robert wryly as he suited up, checking the pistol Buffer handed him. "But seriously why me?"

Buffer checked his helmet and tapped it to give the okay. "Cause this is the mother-ship, and they'll have the communications hub we're after, with that we should be able to find out how they've been avoiding us all this time." Buffer paused and put a finger against Robert's forehead, "I thought you were meant to be smart."

"Smart enough to get a job that usually requires I stay on-board," said Robert smartly and was rewarded with a shove in the direction of the launch.

Sitting on the side while the others clambered in Robert thought how the day had been looking so promising. Day off, Spider and he had finally realized their mutual interest and the night was theirs – then the call had come. A ship suspected of being the controller for a fleet of illegal fishing and drug running boats had been spotted by Coastwatch – inside Australian waters. Three Patrol Boats had been dispatched and the _Hammersley_ had been the first to intercept the suspect craft. Now they were about to launch a boarding party in the middle of the night with him on the first team.

As expectations go this had not been part on his day planner.

MFMFMFMFMFMF

Mike Flynn stared incredulously at the microphone in his hand. "Repeat that X?"

"I say again," the XO's voice filtered through the bridge. "The RO has been knocked unconscious and both he and Buffer are being held in the radio room at gunpoint – there's only one entry and he's threatening to kill them both if we don't disembark."

"If we do that they'll kill them anyway," said Mike.

"I agree sir," returned the XO. "I suggest a warning shot to let them know what happens if they kill one of our crew."

Mike nodded at the Nav and she relayed the order, seconds later three short bursts rang out and he waited for the X to report back.

"What's going on X?" he finally said.

"Stand-by sir, something's happening."

RORORORORORO

The back of his head felt sticky and bringing his hand back he realized it was blood, his own by the pounding against his skull. A short groan brought two hands up against his head and out of the hazy background Buffer's face appeared, his lips were moving but everything was still too confusing for Robert to make it out.

He knew it, just knew it. One step inside the radio room and some shape in the corner of his vision had became a crewman swinging a very large spanner. That was it up until now – of course if Buffer was here then things must be okay.

Scrap that thought Robert as a gun barrel was shoved against Buffer's temple and he pulled back. Sounds were starting to make sense as he could here their captor yammering away at Buffer in broken English. He was ordering him back, telling him to stay against the other wall. Without Buffer's hand keeping his head up he was losing equilibrium again and went to hold his own head – unfortunately his left hand wouldn't budge; by the feel of it he was handcuffed to some metal bar.

There were many things he wanted to say and to ask but since his mouth was working about as good as his eyesight he made do with something simple. "Fuck!"

A fist slammed into his eye-socket and snapped his already splitting head back against what must be the radio, several sharp pieces lanced across his ear and an all new pain erupted as a split wire grounded into his head and sparks shot out from the console. One thing kept running into another, he jerked because of the pain, the sparks burnt his face and turning back he was hit again – apparently it was his fault his head had smashed the radio.

By the feel of it blood was now running from his nose, his ear and somewhere on the back of his head. The roaring and cacophony of sounds finally subsided and he could hear Buffer shouting his name.

Resisting too much movement, both to avoid more bashing and because it was just too painful he did manage to open one eye and try to bring Buffer into focus.

"I'm fine," he rasped out, although it sounded more like 'erm fffernn'.

"Yeah," said Buffer loudly. "You look it, now just stay still, the X is outside and they're not leaving us."

This earned another smattering of English from the captor, who, while holding the gun on Buffer elbowed Robert in the cheek. Something crunched in his mouth and Robert hoped it was just a tooth – the pain was kind of blending together so it could have been a broken jaw. Moving his jaw around he found it at least wasn't that.

"Leave him alone you motherfucker!" yelled Buffer and part of Robert kind of cheered. Let's face it, an angry and swearing Buffer was pretty scary and hopefully the guy with the gun would take a hint.

He didn't and instead pushed the barrel into Robert's temple.

"You shut-up or he is deadman."

It was strange. If you had asked Robert yesterday what he would do if a gun was against his head he would have probably made a joke about wetting himself or screaming like a ten year old; but now it was happening a strange kind of calm overtook him. Even the pain and the feel of pooling blood down his back faded into the back-ground.

He twisted around and stared his one good eye at the captor. The man was Malaysian by the look, with strong Chinese characteristics and was unshaven and obviously scared out of his wits – that would explain the lashing out, he had lost control and who knows what kind of treatment he expected from the Australians. This was the logical part of Robert's brain working, trying to assess his enemy and find a way out.

The other part of him was acting on rage and anger. This was not meant to be happening! He should be out dancing, or at home – in bed – with Spider.

"Fuck you," he growled and pushed into the barrel. "Go ahead you prick… shoot!"

His captor looked at him in shock, his expression going from fear to anger to fear again.

"Shoot me," spat Robert. "Do that so they can blow you out of the water and there'll be one less piece of shit floating around."

"But I kill you," said the captor, a little more hesitantly this time.

"Yeah," sneered Robert, "And then they-kill-you."

The room went absolutely silent as they stared each other down. Robert could still see the conflict going on behind the other's eyes. Fear, anger, fear again, frustration and finally defeat; not once did Robert let him see anything but determination in his eyes. The barrel slowly edged away from his head and only once it was gone did he let himself breath again; he was fairly sure he heard the same from Buffer.

The gunman seemed unsure what to do now but the decision was made when three bursts of gunfire erupted from outside, they were warning shots knew Robert but their captor didn't know that. With a shout he dropped the gun and went to unbolt the door, shouting out something about surrender or giving up, Robert wasn't sure because the world was going hazy again.

The last thing he saw was the room going sideways, or was that him? A pain in his wrist kept him conscious a moment longer, long enough to hear Buffer shouting for something, but he couldn't make it out. His entire existence went dark and silent.

RORORORORO

Just as it was the last to go sound was the first thing to return. The hum of the _Hammersley's_ engines was like angels singing from heaven – if he believed in such a thing. Before serving on any vessels he had heard others speak of knowing each and every ship simply by its background hum; he had dismissed it was mere bragging. No longer though, especially on the old _Hammersley_ but even on this one – each vessel was truly unique and when it was your home for most of the time that sound was a comfort; kind of like rain on the roof.

"I know you're awake you know so just open your damn eyes."

He smiled before remembering it would probably hurt, and it did. The voice belonged to Bomber so either he really was on the _Hammersley_ or this was a version of hell; if he believed in such things.

One eye opened but the other still refused, it felt like glue had kept it shut and he went to rub it only to find his forearm in a splint.

"Wha-?"

"You broke your wrist – when you fell while still attached to the table, Buff did say something about 'he thought you were meant to be smart'," she finished with air quotes. That got another smile from him and avoiding the arm he sat up and leant against the cabin wall, his own room at least.

A glass was pushed towards him with pills, each he dispatched quickly since his injuries would probably start hurting real quick. He went to put the glass on the sideboard but Bomber snatched it back and before he could move she had wrapped him in a hug. His normal frozen reaction took a few seconds to dissipate before he relaxed into it; Bomber was one of the few he would allow so close, even after a life threatening situation.

The events flooded back; boat, gun, lots of hitting.

"Is Buffer okay?" he whispered into her ear.

She leant back and glared at him. "Is Buffer okay!" a finger poked his chest, then another, "Is-Buffer-okay… of course he's bloody okay and from what he says that's mostly thanks to you."

"Me?" Robert frowned and then winced, was there any expressions that wouldn't hurt. "I didn't do anything 'cept get my arse kicked."

"That's not the way he put it," said Bomber with some kind of admiration. "Apparently he says there's another scary guy on deck and his name is Robert Dixon."

Robert's jaw dropped in confusion; why the hell would Buffer be speaking such rubbish?

Bomber's expression turned all concerned as she clicked fingers in front of his face. "You do remember don't you? They said to watch for concussion."

"Yeah I bloody well remember," answered Robert absently rubbing his temple where the gun had been. "Look I had to do something, the guy was gonna shoot me and while I am aware of my worth or lack thereof to the crew," that earned a shove in his uninjured shoulder. "Once he'd done me he probably would have killed Buff; and you guys really would have hated me then."

Bomber seemed to want to argue but instead wiped an errant tear from her eye. "Just try not to do it again okay?"

"As if its something to relive?"

"Well," Bomber smiled, stood up and stretched; she had been sitting on his bed and had no doubt been there for some time. "Don't be surprised if a few crew start quoting you; something about '_go ahead and shoot you prick_' and '_they-kill-you_'." She said the last like a bad Schwarzenegger impression and he was fairly certain he had not said it that way.

"I'm serious though Robert, Buffer was really speaking you up – and when someone said something about you were probably pissing yourself he went all vein popping red and sent the guy to scrub the deck; I thought for a moment he might throw him overboard."

Robert chuckled at that and took a moment to gingerly feel his face. His lip was busted, nose felt tender and cheek was swollen. His head was bandaged and one ear covered and best of all there was little pain, except when he moved. The splint on his arm was one of the temporary first-aid types; they'd put a proper one back in port after x-rays and more tests. That he did not look forward to; he hated hospitals at the best of times mostly because he could think of no 'best of' things happening at hospital.

His expression must have dropped because Bomber had sat back down. "Look, I know you probably feel like shit and who knows what's going on in that head… but perhaps I should see if a certain someone is free to come visit."

"That's probably not a good-."

Bomber's hand was up for silence and Robert strangely obeyed.

"Are you kidding me? I practically had to tie him up in the mess and the XO has been asking if he was hit on the head as well 'cause of the way he's been bouncing off the walls trying to _not_ seem too concerned about you."

"Yeah but if you bring him in everyone's gonna think-."

"What?" said Bomber, interrupting him again. "That Spider's your mate and wants to see you're okay – yeah, I think that's exactly what they'll think."

"Fine."

"Fine," muttered Bomber, doing yet another poor impersonation but this time Robert was pretty sure it was meant to be him.

BSWBSWBSWBSW

Spider sauntered along the deck, moving aside for someone before walking on and resisting the urge to whistle. On his way back to see a now awake Robert had put all the doubts and concerns aside; on hearing that he'd been injured it was all he could do not to run straight to where Swain was treating him. Of course doing such a thing would have been difficult to explain since it was his duty to escort the prisoners to the back deck. Two hours later he'd finally been relieved and had raced down to find Bomber in the mess who had quickly filled him in.

Robert had been put in his cabin and was still unconscious. Swain wasn't too concerned and said as long as someone watched him he'd be fine until they reached port. Buffer had insisted on taking first watch and had been there still when Spider turned up. After knowing what had gone on aboard the other boat Spider expected Buffer to refuse being relieved. Surprisingly he agreed to leave and had even given Spider a strange smile and pat on the back as he told him to take good care of Robert.

There may have been a double meaning but Spider was too busy trying not to shout in anger at how banged up Robert was. A bandage was around his head, his ear and side had a few red lines seeping through and his face was swollen and bruised with a serious black-eye. A cut on those perfect lips made Spider grimace and want to put a hand through the wall. His arm was also wrapped and Spider remembered Bomber saying it was broken.

For two hours he sat on the bed, listening to Robert breath slowly and rhythmically; Swain checked in twice but there was no change and the bleeding had stopped. When Swain left for the second time Spider closed the door and lay down next to Robert, letting their hips touch and his face only centimeters away from the other man's.

That had been so different from the night before. This time the body was not as warm and he seemed so much more vulnerable and the feeling welling up was not lust. He cared for this man, not just as a friend and not yet as a lover but as something else. Spider had wanted to reach out, to touch him and hold him but if only to protect him; to make sure he was okay and to let him know someone cared.

That is how Bomber found him, sleeping next to Robert. They had both resisted the urge to comment on this becoming a habit. Only once she promised to tell him when Robert woke up did Spider return to the mess.

Now he was awake. Bomber had come to get him, as promised but she did warn him about being too obvious but absolutely nothing could have wiped the grin off his face.

He came around the corner to Robert's cabin and swung in the door, not even looking before speaking.

"Hey good lookin', ready to finish off what we started earli- ahh!"

Spider almost screamed like a little girl as instead of Robert alone there was Buffer sitting next to him, giving Spider a very hard and quizzical look.

Buffer shook his head and patted Robert on the shoulder before standing up. "Looks like my cue to leave, remember Rob – feel sick in any way and you call for Swain okay."

Robert nodded but was looking at Spider with a grin plastered across his face. For his part Spider felt his cheeks redden and his stomach seemed to have dropped through the floor; just for once he should have thought before he spoke but now he had to somehow explain away his comments.

"Uh hi Buff," he spluttered as the man went to walk by him. "I was just joking around with Robert, what with all the," he used his hands to indicate invisible bandages and cuts on his head. "And we kind of had a… a game of chess to finish."

"Chess?" Buffer said with an all too knowing grin. "Well since between the two of you getting knocked out, drugged and generally punched up is a common occurrence I'd say _chess_ may be the safest thing for you to do… together."

With that he left and closed the door behind him.

"Wait," said Spider. "Did he? Does Buffer _know_?"

Robert held out one hand in a dismissive gesture, "Buffer and I have an understanding, lets just leave it at that."

Stepping closer and sitting down Spider looked at the closed door. "What? Like the understanding you and the SAS guy had?"

"No," laughed Robert. "God you're making me sound a real slut."

"I hope so," leered Spider and with another glance at the door he leaned in and kissed Robert, trying to be gentle with the split lip and all. That seemed to keep the grin on Robert's face and he reached his uninjured hand into Spider's.

"So," asked Robert, "How long till we reach port?"

"Two hours, maybe more."

The hand reached up and grabbed the back of Spider's head, bringing him down for a much fiercer and harder kiss; one which must have hurt but still sent tingles up Spider's spine.

"Far too long," whispered Robert and brought Spider back, "You did say we had something to finish."

The End.


End file.
